Taco

Whoever invented Taco Salad should have a statue erected in their honor. What kind of genius does it take to construct a dish where you take a bunch of ground beef, smother it in cheese, and then eat it with fried corn chips, and it's called a salad?

delta

the lack of change in meat temperature forced us to change our plans. Stayed home and finished the meat right, watched O's (still on tv) game. Nats losing to ATL was blacked out. Thanks Peter Angelos.

This was the best ever. If you don't keep the oven temperature up, the meat won't cook fast enough for you to make it to the baseball game, but it will be moisterer than a you know what. It took 11 hours to smoke a 5.5lb shoulder - and it was worth every second.

sunrise

The judge I'm interning for is on vacation this week, which means that I am on vacation this week. There was talk of a last minute roadtrip to see the Nats invade ATL, but prior obligations unfortunately could not be rescheduled - that, and Andruew Jones had other plans.

So what do you do when you have a week vacation and you are staying home? You get up at 5am and fire up the smoker. The meat should come off in a couple hours, and we're driving to Frederick MD to tailgate and see a minor league baseball game.


















I'll save you some.

Slow Burn

I don't know how many of you are familier with the trials & tribulations of Ron Mexico, but if you are, surely the humor in this cannot be lost on you:

and if you're looking to kill some time, just Google Ron Mexico. It is amazing how quickly the craze has swept the nation - from video games to a site where you can develop your own secret agent alias.

Boondocks

If you don't read the Boondocks, you should. I hoped the Boondocks webpage would be good, but it is just a place to buy stuff, so here's a sample from this week's strip (click to enlarge):
The whole week has been about McDonalds revamping its corporate image - becomming a "lifestyle brand." For more on McDonalds generally, check out the McShit.

Aaron McGruder, who writes the strip, is more famous for setting his sights on political figures in much the same manner. You should be able to find the strip in your local newspaper, although I use Washington Post online.

The Boondocks will be appearing as an animated series on TV this fall, but I am fairly confident that it will suck. I am also confident that I will not ever find out for sure because there is no way I am tuning in to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim at 11pm on Sundays after spending all day drinking beer and celebrating another Panthers victory.

daylight wastingstime

Apparently the Energy Bill that just passed the House and will (hopefully) go before the Senate sooner rather than later includes a provision that will extend Daylight Savingstime by 2 months. AWESOME!! Not that I like waking up in the morning when it is pitch dark outside, but it is a lot better than walking out of the office when it is pitch dark outside.

But if this happens, we will be in daylight savings time for 9 months, and "standard" time for only 3. Shouldn't we call the 9 months standard and the 3 months Daylight Wastingstime? It's like when the weatherman says that the temperature has been above normal for a long time - well then hasn't "normal" changed?

Whatever it's called, this will drastically improve my quality of life as there will be fewer days of the year that I feel like I have spent my whole day inside.

Of course, I'm in law school now so I don't have a problem with that...and someday I will probably have to work until it is dark outside regardless, but let's not talk about that.

Tax man

I didn't file my tax returns until I finished with school - I had IRA distributions and tuition credits and all kind of shizzle requiring extra forms, and I was just too lazy to do it in between case briefs for class.

I filed at the beginning of summer but nothing had come through yet - I just went on line to check what was going on and they was like "We found errors in your tax return"

and I was like "FUCK!"

and then they was like "you were off by $350"

and I was like "MOTHER FUCK!!"

and then they was like "we actually owe you $350 MORE than you thought we did"

and then I was like "FUCK YEAH!!!"

Toss-up

There are many things to write about today - but I've limited them to Harry Potter & Tiger Woods, and I'll keep it short.

Harry Potter is an amazing phenomenon . I don't think we ever had anything even close like that when I was growing up. I mean, kids are staying up all night to read the book - maybe I'll pick up the first one and start at the beginning.
I saw a thing on CNN interviewing blind kids. It turns out that this is the first Harry Potter book that was sent in advance to the people who do Braille translations. Until now, the blind kids would have to wait weeks or months before they could read the book - I mean, it sucks bad enough to be blind, but then they have to listen to all their friends ruin the ending? This time, the Braille people got an advanced copy, so the blind kids could start reading at the same time as everyone else. They are still, however, blind.
That J.K. Rowling woman is richer than rich though, and she may be the most deserving rich person in the world. It is miraculous to get that many kids to read books that re 600 pages long. I think I have only read 2 books that long - and it took me more than 7 hours.

I hate Tiger Woods and I hate it when he wins. He says stupid jackass things like "'Why would I change my game?' This is why," Woods said. "First, second and first in the last three majors. That's why."

sWET

The best part of my day yesterday was undoubtedly making the wrong decision about what was the best route to take on my way home. Not only did the traffic cost me an extra 15 mins, but I got to sit in my 100 degree un-airconditioned car with the windows rolled up while a thunder storm dumped buckets of humidity onto all of us worker bees.

Fortunately, the rain was cool enough to chill the glass and the windows all fogged up, providing me with a great opportunity to relive my glory days and draw all sorts of genitalia with my finger, then erase it with my breath and start over - all while sweat dripped down my shins and I tested the limits of the car speakers durring the 3rd consecutive run through O.K. Computer.

king of pop

I was rocking out to one of the best records of the 80s - that's right, Michael Jackson's Thriller (produced, don't forget, by Quincy Jones). Beat It is just a great tune, but let us not forget when the real gun slinger showed the world how to rock.

Computer O.K.?

I have a 1 hour commute each way to my internship, which has been great for 2 reasons. First, I have been catching up on the music I miss. Second, I know that I will never live a permanent lifestyle that forces me to spend that much of my time commuting.

RadioHead is one of those bands that everyone tells me is good, and I trust them, but for whatever reason I just haven't gotten into their music.

About a month ago I listened to Kid A straight through 3 times - all in the car - and it never grabbed me. Even the kind reviews describe something that, to me, is absolutely boring.

This morning I went for OK Computer. It is much better, and reaches the crescendos that I like in music. It still has that RadioHead sound, and after 60 mins barreling down the highway with the windows rolled down and music blaring, I was an absolute zoned out zombie walking into work today - complete with dilated pupils, stiff knees and hair sticking straight up in the air.

nothing a few cups of coffee couldn't fix - although I could still use a nap to re-boot.

Land Rove-r...

...in jail.

Karl Rove out of politics will cripple the republican party. He is a genius - although quite evil.

shockingly, the White House has no comment.

The funniest thing is that the left wing media conspiracy theory NYT reporter Judith Miller, with the full support & encouragement of her editor, is sitting in jail to protect the mother fucker while the McMagazine Time guy rolled on him with the publisher's ok.

(I apologize that the link to the Time website only offers a synopsis, then you have to pay to read the full article. I was hoping to offer their perspective on things - obviously this is out of my control)

Tomorrow - back to the lighthearted stuff.

bird brain

This bird apparently has a nest nearby. I live in a 4th story condo with a balcony, and whenever the cat goes out there, the bird freaks out and alerts the rest of the birds in the neighborhood - sometimes even attacking the cat. We are on a 4th story condo - the only way the cat poses a threat to the bird is if the bird gets too close. Except of course, when the bird starts squawking even when the cat is inside looking through the sliding glass door.

That Smell

If you have occasion to find yourself in front of the bathroom mirror with a length of floss wrapped around your fingers and you pop a chunk of 4th of July hamburger gristle out from between your back molars, do not smell it.

Heaven

I was just telling my buddy that I don't want this to be a continuous place to post sports news, because nobody wants to read my babble about the Panthers - but this is too good to ignore. It's not just funny - and it didn't have to be football - but when there is something that helps bring a family together in life and death, that is good.

Family has unique viewing at funeral home
Associated Press

PITTSBURGH -- James Henry Smith was a zealous Pittsburgh Steelers fan in life, and even death could not keep him from his favorite spot: in a recliner, in front of a TV showing his beloved team in action.

Smith, 55, of Pittsburgh, died of prostate cancer Thursday. Because his death wasn't unexpected, his family was able to plan for an unusual viewing Tuesday night.

The Samuel E. Coston Funeral Home erected a small stage in a viewing room, and arranged furniture on it much as it was in Smith's home on game day Sundays.

Smith's body was on the recliner, his feet crossed and a remote in his hand. He wore black and gold silk pajamas, slippers and a robe. A pack of cigarettes and a beer were at his side, while a high-definition TV played a continuous loop of Steelers highlights.

"I couldn't stop crying after looking at the Steeler blanket in his lap," said his sister, MaryAnn Nails, 58. "He loved football and nobody did [anything] until the game went off. It was just like he was at home."

Longtime friend Mary Jones called the viewing "a celebration."

"I saw it and I couldn't even cry," she said. "People will see him the way he was."

Smith's burial plans were more traditional; he'll be laid to rest in a casket.

Test Run

If you hit the adult slip-n-slide like this:



or this:



you might end up like this:

A Good Day

Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn’t even see a berry flashing those high beams

No helicopter looking for a murder
Two in the morning got the fat burger
Even saw the lights of the goodyear blimp
And it read ice cube’s a pimp

Drunk as hell but no throwing up
Half way home and my pager still blowing up
Today I didn’t even have to use my a.k.
I got to say it was a good day.

THE PREDATOR is one of the forgotten gems of 90s hip-hop, before the bling bling era invaded the radio waves. The re-issue includes several additional tracks, including the radio friendly versions of Today Was a Good Day & Check Yo Self. Buy your new copy today (this link to Barnes & Noble is provided for your convienence only - it would make me happier if you went to your local record store. That way you could listen to it on the way home and support local business).

make a pill for this

I keep paying the mechanic to "fix" my car, and he keeps fixing things, but symptoms don't go away.

Essentially, my car is a 55 year old stressed out accountant working 60 hours a week who eats poorly, is overweight with high cholsesterol & blood pressure, suffers from severe depression, and doesn't get any exercise. He goes to the doctor and wonders why he can't get an erection.

Unfortunately, there is no Viagra for cars.